I wasn’t an alcoholic.
At least, that’s what I told myself for years.
I was just a social drinker. A few beers with friends, a whiskey or two after a long day, the occasional party or celebration. Nothing out of the ordinary. But somewhere between the casual Friday evenings and the “I deserve this” nights, I was spending more on alcohol than I ever did on my own future.
I never tracked it. I never questioned it. But the money was leaking — slowly, steadily — like a faucet left half open in an empty house.
The Unseen Cost
It started small.
A ₹300 pint after work. Then the bar snacks. Then a cab ride home because I didn’t want to risk driving. Then late-night Zomato orders. Then the next-day guilt that needed to be dulled with more comfort food… and maybe another drink. You know how it goes.
When I finally sat down one night and calculated the average spend, it broke me.
₹6,000 to ₹12,000 a month.
Just on alcohol and the little habits that came with it.
Over a year, that was more than a lakh. Over five years, I had spent more money on alcohol than I had in savings.
Let that sink in. It took me 50 years to realize this.
The Emotional Price
It wasn’t just the money.
It was the energy I lost.
The mornings I woke up groggy and short-tempered. The dreams I put on hold because I was either too tired or too hazy to follow through. The days I didn’t read, didn’t write, didn’t plan, didn’t feel like myself.
And the worst part? I was using alcohol to cope with the very stress that my poor financial state was causing.
It was a cycle. Stress → Drink → Spend → More stress → More drink. And round and round I went.
The Breaking Point
One day, I opened my bank app to transfer money for an emergency — and there was nothing. Nothing.
All I had were upcoming credit card payments, EMI reminders, and the sinking feeling that I had let my younger self down. That the man who once had big dreams was now just surviving.
And that was it. That was the moment.
I didn’t have a dramatic intervention. I didn’t go cold turkey the next day. But I made one small, stubborn promise to myself:
No more spending on alcohol until I fix my money.
The Rebuilding
It wasn’t easy. I slipped a few times. But I stuck to the promise — slowly, painfully, intentionally.
Instead of a bottle of whiskey, I bought a budget journal. Instead of bar tabs, I started SIPs. Instead of nights out, I started walking. Thinking. Learning.
And week by week, I saw the shift.
I wasn’t just saving money. I was saving pieces of myself I thought I’d lost.
What I Know Now
If you’re reading this and alcohol is a casual but consistent part of your life — this is not a judgment.
This is just a mirror.
Track your spending for 30 days. Not to quit. Not to punish. Just to see.
Because sometimes the hole in our wallet isn’t just about big purchases — it’s about the small habits that never get questioned.
And for me, alcohol was one of them.
Final Thoughts
Today, I’m not rich. But I’m rebuilding.
One smart choice at a time. One saved rupee at a time. One sober evening at a time.
If this resonates with even one person out there who feels stuck — financially, emotionally, or spiritually — I want you to know:
It’s never too late to start again. Not at 30. Not at 50. Not at any age.
You’re not behind. You’re just getting started. And maybe your first lakh starts with saying no to just one more drink.
– A 50-year-old beginner who’s finally figuring it out.
